|
| *ecstatic as a clam*
what? clams can be more than happy.
and i have all the reason to be so incredibly happy. last night, i went to a concert with lily. what concert you might ask? a concert i've been waiting about 10 years for. a BACKSTREET BOYS concert!!!!! ^o^
lily told me about it about a month ago and we decided we'd go. she bought us the tickets and the exciting night arrived. after some stress about getting there on time since her family couldn't decide who was coming and whatnot, we get there and see the line already filing in the building. people had been waiting all day since morning and that kind of freaked lily out but once we got in, we were perfectly fine with where we were.
we got the wristbands to stand on the floor and decided on a spot. the opening act, donny something-or-other from making the band 4 was on stage for about 30 mins and he was decent. then we were made to wait another 30 mins and we were getting hot and tired and there was this annoying girl right next to us who wouldn't shut up.
finally the lights dimmed and the music started and the people pushed. the boys came out and i couldn't see them that well but i saw them when they moved around the stage. people were pushing and trying to get out and trying not to fall over. we stayed squished in the mess of girls for a few songs but i was getting really hot so we managed our way out to the back of the crowd. it was a lot better and i was able to see a little more. we had room to move as much as we wanted and it wasn't as hot.
oh my gosh i never screamed so much in my life. i've been to a few concerts before this and those were pretty intense but i never got this hot and never screamed so much. at the other concerts i'd just "WOO~!" and stuff, but this one? oh man, i screamed for those boys. i sang my heart out. i've never been in a crowd where EVERYONE was singing. this was the first american concert i've been to, all the others were japanese concerts so only a small handful really knew the words. but this one? it was SO COOL hearing everyone sing the words. it felt so nice. there was even this older couple in front of us and the husband [or boyfriend, whatever] knew all the words. me and lily were impressed haha.
since kevin left the group about 2 years ago it was only the four running around on stage. howie sang most of kevin's parts and when they showed their old music videos, they cut kevin out. is it so bad to show an old member?? geez. it was also really cute and funny seeing their old music videos. nick looked like a little kid!! now he was all grown up and doing some dirty things on that stage XD ahaha it was so funny. at one point, nick sang "lollipop" by lil wayne and aj went down to the audience and gave out kisses. then he joined nick on stage and they both were shaking what their momma gave them. me and lily were surprised and laughing afterwards.
they didn't sing all the new songs off their album but they did sing a lot of their older songs which was wonderful. it was so nice. and omg, they opened with "larger than life"!!!! the second song was "everyone" [one of my favorites] off their black & blue album and i always thought "this would be a great concert song" and wow, they sang it and it was awesome. i can't list all the songs they sang because i honestly don't remember right now but it was so fantastic.
when they were done, we shouted and screamed for them for an encore and they came out. they sang "shape of my heart" for the encore and confetti came flying out! i've never been to a concert with confetti. i know it sounds kinda silly, but seeing those little papers flying about with the lights and music was actually kind of magical XD. and OMG, something so amazing happened. KEVIN CAME OUT!!! i couldn't see at first but all of a sudden there was this loud screaming and lily started jumping and grabbing me and said "IT'S KEVIN!!" she said my face of realization was funny and we joined the crowd that just shifted in his direction. it was so nice seeing him, i got kind of emotional but i didn't really cry. i'm glad i got to see all the boys together. and when they took their final bow, all five of them, i'm glad i got to see it that way.
oh, those boys make sync dancing look so good. they can definitely bring it back from the 90's.
sigh. so fun.
thank you so much for this lily ^__^ i had one of the best times of my life.
au revoir.
| | |
| -_-
gather 'round now kiddies. it's time for another depressing episode. =D
soo...we all know thinking too much is never good. unless you're trying to brainstorm ideas for an answer or plan, then that's a different story. but simply having nothing to do but sitting there and thinking. reading certain things, watching certain things, listening to certain things...it all leads to thinking and thinking about yourself. and most of my over-thinking leads to a negative attitude on everything. well, mostly myself.
so last night i was reading some ppl's blogs and i started thinking. and to keep this part of the story short, it ended with me thinking about how i dont have anything i can say i do really well. i don't play any instrument, i'm not some speedy swimmer, i don't excel in any sports. in general, i don't have a hobby i can fall back on. at least a hobby i can do regularly. actually, i dont think i have a hobby i do sporadically either.
playing an instrument...i've been told i have the hands and fingers of a piano player [and therefore maybe guitar and violin] but i was never taken to any classes when i was little and now i dont have the patience or focus to learn something new. i'd love to know how to play the piano. but the fact i also want speedy results doesn't help either.
excelling in sports...i never played sports when i was little. the only thing i was put in was dance class and that was only for a few months. it wasn't something i stuck with and it was one of those 'put your kid in a short class for some social experience' type thing. not that that helped because i was terrified when we had to do a performance on stage. i was sent to a summer thing at my city's community center. we did everything from woodwork to violin to sewing. i liked a few things i did there. i enjoyed playing around with a violin and i liked the art bc i was kinda good at drawing things with pastels. painting the wooden shapes the old man would cut for us was fun too...and i still have the wooden figures. i dont remember really making any friends there. i would always kind of find a seat one over from the next person and let some other random kid sit in the middle.
i asked my mom why she never put me in piano class or any other class a parent might put their child in. she said because i didn't want to. which makes me think, do the kids who're put in those classes want to do what they're doing? bc i know some parents just stick their kid somewhere just bc they want them to have some talent in something. usually the kids get frustrated at one point and want to quit but the parents never let them. bc i was so shy i never wanted to go out and do things on my own. i never said "mommy i want to learn how to play the piano" [one reason was because i knew we didnt have one and you kinda need one to practice]. so i guess it's partly my fault.
but still. then i started thinking about other things. is there anything else i can do? not really. even if i decided to buckle down and learn the piano, i don't own one so practicing would be impossible. i guess i'm also busy since i have work right after school and i dont want to devote all my weekend time to practicing something.
even in school, i'm just passing. i'm not a straight A student. i'm not above average. i'm just, average. well, i'm not sure what average is anymore...but i get an A, a couple B's, then C. i dont try as hard as i can. everyone. everyone has the ability to get straight A's if they wanted. most are just too lazy. i know i am. i could easily read all the 60+ pages i need to read for a class, but i get tired and give up. i could easily study and ace a test, but i'd rather watch tv or talk on the phone the night before. i really thought i was better than this. in elementary school i hardly got C's [except maybe in history and science]. highschool was okay the first year or so then i started slacking because the classes became harder. by senior year i was only doing what i needed to do in order to pass if i found it too difficult. i even surprised myself when i started getting C's and not caring as long as i just passed.
that's not good in college. especially when you're trying to maintain a certain GPA in order to get into something. i really thought i could do better. and i can, but i know i won't.
au revoir.
| | |
| *routine*
the ONE thing i didn't want to fall into when i got a career.
the ONE thing i didn't want to fall into EVER in any type of job. and guess what, i'm already there  .
god damnit.
seeing those people who wake up every morning, drive off to work during morning rush hour, get to work and stay there from 9-5 then drive back during evening rush hour...i knew that wasn't for me.
i don't understand how some ppl can do that. sure if it's a job they really like, then i guess it balances out for them. but if they do all that and they don't particularly enjoy what they do, but do it for the money, i say no thanks. i would never work somewhere i was unhappy just because the pay was good. it'd be tempting and who would want to turn down more money? but i want fun in my life. just because i hit "adulthood" and have a career and have to support myself does not mean that fun has to be taken out of the equation.
and what am i doing now?
i wake up every morning and get ready, drive to work [which takes me 10 mins since i kind of speed], stay there from 9:30 to 6, then drive home.
every. day. monday through friday. although most times i get to leave early on fridays since i always make plans. but still. the one thing i didn't want to do and i'm already doing it!!! 
sure i don't have to do this, but at the same time, i do if i want to go to japan next fall for a year. going to japan to study abroad costs about $24,000. sure i'm going to get a scholarship but i know that's not going to cover all of it. my mom's also working hard, taking a good chunk of her paycheck and saving it for me. and most of my paycheck, with the exception of my last one since it went to AX funds, goes into savings to collect interest. and since my work here is very sporadic, i don't get a paycheck every month. what i make each month is too little to put into one paycheck. so my mom keeps tabs on everything [and is essentially the one who decides how much i get] and gives me a paycheck covering a few months of work. and that is usually a bit over $1000. that's not much at all.
i also stay here because it's easy [point #1] and the boss is very nice and gives me whatever time i want off. point #1: i'm unhappy but i still work at the place i work for the money.
*cries*
i also never wanted an office job. usually routine 9-5 jobs come with an office. it's sorta part of the package. and i didn't want to be stuck behind a desk and computer typing and picking up the phone all day. sitting all day isn't exactly the healthiest. and it's boring!
when i wanted to do something with fashion design, i knew an office wouldn't cut it for me. i pictured a somewhat big, cluttered open area with hanger racks and large tables covered with different materials and paper patterns. a few of those body form mannequins with random clothing pieces on them. i would go into work whenever, but still in the morning, and each day i'd have something different to do. sure it's still in the same category of things, but it'd be different: designing, sewing, cutting, fitting, whatever.
*sigh* just had to vent a bit.
au revoir.
| | |
| *AX2008*
wow.
copied from blog on myspace.
/// Day0 [wednesday]
George
picks me up from home and we head over to the Marriott in downtown LA.
Mike and Mark are already there and have been waiting for a couple
hours already. Shinji was supposed to be there as well but since he
went to LAX with Andrew, they were stuck there for a while due to a
bomb threat. Once they were out of that, Andrew's car overheated so
they had to wait for that. While we were waiting in the lobby, there
was this group of Japanese people just hanging out, apparently waiting
to be checked in as well. One had interesting hair: half red, half
black and kind of close to Miyavi-style. Finally Shinji gets to the
hotel [I forgot what time] and we check in. Get to the room, situate,
then Mike and Mark say they're going to get badges so I ask Mike to get
mine and George's. Later, Kelly gets home from her camping trip but has
no ride to the hotel anymore. So George, Shinji, and me go and pick her
up as well as go shopping at Ralphs. That was a fun adventure. Of
course we need the alcohol since it's a con. And that alcohol cost me.
A lot. I find it funny that I paid for it all, willingly, and I don't
drink at all. It was close to $200. Of course we bought some other
things besides alcohol but that was the majority. We get back to the
hotel and my torilla soup from CPK that I ordered was waiting for me =]
it was yummy. I don't remember the details after that...
/// Day1 [thursday]
It's
probably midnight, so technically day 1 by now. We all just kind of
chilled in the room, drinking and playing Guitar Hero. I think we fell
asleep around 2? At least that's the time I remember. We woke up,
surprisingly, close to 9am. Of course we didn't start getting ready
until about 2 hours later. George and I went to check out the exhibit
hall. I bought a dvd, L: Change the World. I really wanted that and was
glad they had it for cheap :D. I also got this over priced boba drink
that I only drank half of -_- George ran into a couple friends while we
were walking around. Then this little Japanese woman comes up to me and
asks if I'd want to have my picture taken for their website. Basically
picking up people with interesting clothes I guess. I was just wearing
a black tank top I got at Fanime, my Sex Pot Revenge shorts, black
over-the-knee socks, and black velvet wedge heels from Payless XD. Oh
and Mike's black fedora. I filled out a little survey thing where I
wrote what I was wearing and where I got it from. If they like your
outfit/picture enough, they put you in the next issue of KERA magazine.
I checked the site: MARUIONE.JP x KERA SNAP
So yay! It's be cool if I got in the magazine...I'd so buy it XD. We
went back to the room after that to drop off our cameras since AX
didn't allow any for the AMV contest. Shinji and Kelly come with us and
we all go to the AMV contest. It was the first one I went to and it was
actually pretty fun. Our friend, Kerry [aka NightHawk] made one for
action category. It was "Be a Man" with anime from Gurren
Lagann. It was really funny and my favorite video. He won in action
category and creator's favorite. The comedy category was pretty funny
too. Shinji was dying through most of it. After that I still wanted to
go to Battle of the Bands to see LM.C as the special guest. Shinji and
Kelly left to meet up with Cathy and Matt. George came with me and we
ran into Gary and Krista. We talked for a little bit then went in to
watch. LM.C played a couple videos on the screen and all the fangirls
went crazy. When LM.C actually came out on stage I noticed a familiar
head of red and black. Then it hit me and I was like "OMG!! THAT WAS
LM.C!!! They're staying at OUR hotel!!!!!" all while pulling and
hitting George's arm XD. They were really cool. I got a pick that Aiji
through out ^_^
/// Day2 [friday]
It's pretty close to
being midnight by this point and nothing major happened except George
and I going back to the hotel to find a drunk Mike, a sober Alberto, a
silly Shinji, and Kelly filming all of it. Mike was pretty entertaining
while drunk. Soy and Mark came back to the room and again I don't
remember little details. Oh yeah, when George went downstairs to smoke,
he came running back and said that the dummer and bassist [blueish
black hair and red+black hair respectively] were in the lobby and he
got a picture with them. We ran back downstairs but they left already.
It was cool he got a picture with them =]. We fell asleep late again
and woke up around 9-ish again. We had the AXForum Meet & Greet to
go to at 12...and of course we were late. We hung out in the back
enough to see the awards and cosplay contest. I wanted to go to the
LM.C panel so me and George left right before the raffle drawing. The
panel was a Q&A session and no ridiculous questions either. Then
the second they announced where the signing would be, people flooded
out and streamed across the LACC. George and I rode the wave and found
ourselves at the Artist's Alley. They gave us tickets and we were
207-ish, I don't remember the exact number but it was low 200s. I was
planning on getting the pick signed...but about 20 people before me,
they decided to stop the signing. I was so depressed. I don't know why
they stopped, time maybe. But they were going to shake hands with
everyone. I made eye contact with them and smiled real big XD I didn't
know what to say to them. "Thank you"? that's what they were saying to
us, and that's probably all I could say with how fast we were being
ushered through. So being a little depressed we head back to the hotel
with the shuttle. Right as we're about to walk through the lobby doors,
we see a van and out pops LM.C!! Dang they were fast. George asks if we
could take a picture and I guess she was the manager [or just thought
she was] says no. I was sad. Mean-manager-lady walks away and we end up
riding the elevator with them plus Camera-man and some other
Has-to-do-with-the-band-woman, who seemed nice. Yeah, it was a little
awkward in that elevator. Maya is so tall...and his hair makes it worse
XD It was intimidating. George was so tempted to just take a picture of
all of us then, but he didn't think about it fast enough. George took
my hand and waved bye to them and since my hand was kinda limp, it made
them laugh...yay we made them laugh! XD God I'm pathetic. Only Soy was
in the room but he left shortly after. Me and George were watching Deal
or No Deal which was strangely addicting and we just HAD to see what
deal the guy took at the end...but for some reason something distracted
us and when I realized, the next episode had started. George left to go
to a Gamestop and Kelly and I changed for the Fate/Stay Night
gathering. Mark came with us and after being about 30 mins late because
we couldn't find the damn site, we see other FSN ppl. They thought my
Lion Saber costume was cute ^__^ We took some pictures then went
walking in the LACC and met up with George. We wanted to go to the
Masquerade Ball but got lazy so instead I danced outside when the song
"I Like to Move It" came on. Kelly took a short video of me XD We went
back to the hotel, changed, aaaand...damn. I forgot what we did. I
think maybe we just stayed in the room.
/// Day3 [saturday]
I'll
just fast-forward to day 3. Again there was drinking and Rock Band and
Guitar Hero. I don't remember what time we fell asleep. Nor what time
we woke up. It was probably the same as the other days. There wasn't
much that happened in the day on Saturday. Me and George went to the
arcade a little bit and wasted some money on that rigged Stacker/Pile
Up game. I decided I really wanted to go to LM.C's concert at
CrashMansion then. I asked Kelly but she wanted to go to Last Comic
Standing. I asked Alberto but he was in the middle of watching Howl's
Moving Castle and also wanted to go to Last Comic Standing. I was ready
to go alone but George said he'd go with me =]. The concert was really
fun. I got so much water splashed on me though, thank you Maya. I
didn't catch anything but at the end when I was at the merch table,
Mean-manager-lady and another Camcorder-guy ask me if I could be
interviewed. They told me to say how I liked the concert then they told
me to give LM.C a message. So I busted out my Japanese and said almost
the same thing as in English. Mean-manager-lady and Camcorder-guy's
reaction: "o_o You speak Japanese??" Yeah, that's right. I bought 2
bandanas and it came with a picture of Maya and Aiji. After the concert
we didn't see them at the hotel again. The concert was pretty long.
George dropped me off at the hotel and he went to his friend's birthday
party.
///Day4 [sunday]
Everyone
was just chilling in the room, drinking, Guitar Hero, Rock Band,
talking. George came back around 1:30am I think. People were still
awake. Hell, we went to sleep when the sky was lighting up!! We woke up
around 10:30 maybe, checked out through the tv, cleaned up, and wanted
to go to the exhibit hall but we took too long. Instead we went to
Denny's for food. We still went to the LACC after to see if the arcade
was open, but it wasn't. We loitered on the stairs, taking pictures and
being silly. I was playing with Kelly's Yoshi-kart for a little bit.
When we decided to leave for Denny's, we couldn't find it! I left it at
the bottom of the stairs, where no one else could go since we were
right by an emergency exit. Alberto remembered some lady in a red shirt
going down the stairs...but no one else remembered her. There were 7 of
us all spread out on the stairs, more than one person HAD to have seen
her. But no one remembered anyone walking by us. We decided that thief
of a woman in red took the Yoshi-kart right from us. We went to lost
and found but it wasn't there. We hung out outside when everything was
done. A lot of people had bought ice cream from a little Mexican man
with an ice cream cart. I got cocout and George got one of those Pink
Panther ice cream with gumball eyes. We returned to the hotel, got the
cars and said bye to Mike and Mark. Me, George, Kelly, Alberto, Shinji,
Soy, and Krista all went to The Grove to watch Hancock. It was a good
movie. We dropped off Alberto and Kelly then I got home around 2 I
think. I don't remember.
/// Day5 [monday]
Not AX anymore,
but there was still stuff going on. Today was Disneyland. George picks
me up, then Kelly, then we go get Shinji and Soy at Andrew's place in
Hollywood. Back track to Disneyland. George was falling asleep at the
wheel so he wanted to take a nap in the car. I stayed with him and we
took a 2 hour nap. We joined the 3 later at Pizza Port. It was a fun
day =] But toward the end again George got really tired and didn't want
to stay for Fantasmic. So I went back to the car with him, half holding
him up because he seriously would've sat down somewhere and knocked
out. We get kettle corn then go back to the car and wait a couple hours
for them. I stayed awake in the car, feeding George kettle corn and
water from the back seat to make sure he stayed awake XD.
/// Day6 [tuesday]
We
get to Andrew's place and sit outside for about 30-40 mins talking and
trying to figure things out for, technically later, Six Flags. Drop off
Kelly, then me. About 5 hours later, I wake up again and get ready.
Kelly was going with Matt and Cathy so George only had to get me. He
picks me up around 11:30 maybe and we head over to Six Flags. It was so
freaking hot up there. I thought I was going to pass out. Matt, Cathy,
Kelly, Krista, Shinji, and Soy arrive and the fun starts. They wanted
to go on X2 first. Me and George didn't go on it. Then we got some
frozen lemonade and everyone except me, Shinji, and Soy went to Roaring
Rapids. They come back about an hour later, not wet at all. They said
someone hit the emergency button and all the water drained and it would
be closed the rest of the day. We get in line for Tatsu next and
everyone goes on except me. We play in the arcade for a little bit then
go to Ninja. That was the only ride I went on. It hurt my ear because
my head banged against the harness and since a water ride was right
there, water came flying to me and hit my eye. Then everyone except me,
George, and Krista went on Superman. We get some over-priced food next
and everyone except me and George go on Batman. There was no line
whatsoever for Batman. They even rode it twice! We ran into Eiji and
her friends after that. Shinji, Kelly, and Soy went on Riddler's
Revenge while Matt, Cathy, and George tried the rock climbing thing. It
looks like they had fun. Watching them, I kind of wanted to try it but
I had no money left ^-^; We waited for the remaining 3 at the entrance
and when they got there they got funnel cake. We said bye to everyone
and George took me home. We just sat in the car for about an hour
before I finally went in.
So that was a crazy fun week. I
got to spend all that time with George =] I spent so much more money
than I was planning to, but I guess as long as it all comes back to me.
That was a long post...haha.
au revoir.
| | |
| *quote*
"sometimes you're more free when you're taken than when you're actually 'free'." - gary
i know that's not the greatest quote in the world and anyone could've come up with it if they thought about it long enough...but just the fact that i heard it [and from him, no less] made me think about it. and it's so true!
we were on the subject of AX and cons in general; how they're so fun and everyone just lets loose. and the subject of going to a con with your gf/bf came up and that's when he said it. if you have a bf/gf, you don't really worry about trying impress others, you don't worry if you say something wrong when talking to someone who's cute, stuff like that. you already have someone who likes you for you and all your flaws so i guess the "flaws" you'd be worried about, don't exist.
yeahh...
i'm actually at work and trying to stay awake. that's why i'm writing nonsense.
AX is about 21 days away, 3 weeks.
wow.
fanime really didn't seem that long ago. and when we were saying bye to ppl at fanime, we'd say "see you in 6 weeks!" but really, it wasn't 6 weeks. more like 5, maybe 5 1/2 weeks until AX from that point. that's just over a month!
and now i get to do the whole crazy con thing ALL OVER AGAIN!!! ^o^ and staying with shinji, kelly, and cathy always make it fun. for the past 2 out of 3 cons i've gone to and stayed at a hotel, those are the ppl who've always been in the room. other ppl have stayed in the room but it was like a one time thing, either just ALA or just Fanime. shinji always gets the room and me, kelly, and cathy are kind of a package deal when it comes to cons XD XD. this time mike, mark, shinji's friend soy, alberto, and george are staying with us too. 9 ppl. heh.
and i have no idea what to expect from this con. not that i'm expecting anything really, it's just...ALA and Fanime were like warm-up cons compared to AX. AX is the big one. filled with the most fun, most drama, most craziness. i just know it. something wild is going to happen, whether it be at con or the room [and i'm guessing SOMETHING is gonna happen in the room...something always does].
my lion saber costume is coming along nice i think. i have to work on the head now...and since i never look at something in a sense that it can change, i'm always iffy about it. i doubt that made any sense.
okay.
the hood for the costume, it's kind of bumpy and makes my head look big [or sometimes like someone from the middle-east XD] so i'm whining to my mom saying it doesnt look right or cute. she gets annoyed at telling me over and over again that it's just a base, it's going to change when we sew everything else on. so i try and see it that way. i try to picture everything sewn on and how the head would look...but it also doesnt help that i'm trying to cosplay an anime character. a cartoon with a larger than human head [but you dont notice bc it's cartoon] so trying to copy it exactly it almost impossible unless i stuff the hood or something. but i havent seen anyone cosplaying lion saber before...so i hope it turns out okay and ppl know who i'm supposed to be XD. the body is nice, the tail is cute, the major thing is going to be the head.
hmm...i guess that's enough blabber for today.
au revoir.
| | |
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